My New York Holiday Part 1

I happened to be sitting at church in Manhattan last sunday, and these two cute ladies from England were visiting. The daughter mentioned that they were on holiday--so I decided from now on--all my vacations are going to be called holidays!

So--I spontaneously decided a couple weeks ago that it was time for a holiday. I have been stressed with work--this Chinese Immersion program stuff--has been making me work way hard! I also have been a little overwhelmed with my dating

life here in Utah--but that is a totally different story. I just needed away! So--my

cousin Amanda invited me to come out and visit with her and her in-laws because they were coming and they were going out to upstate to visit the church history sites and attend the Hill Cummorah Pageant. They were also blessing the baby that weekend too, so I decided that this would be a great time to go. It was a perfect

break from my life and now I feel rejuvinated.

Here are some highlights from my holiday. I wish I could post all of my pics on here, but there are a hundred +. So, here's some of the important ones!

My "Cousin" Owen! He kept calling me "Cousin Amy" the whole time I was there. Cousin Owen bonded with me over a bag of white cheddar Cheetos. We were instant friends!

On Wednesday--it was so hot! We decided to go to the Met to enjoy the AC. We explored a few different things there and were educated about musical instruments and Greek art. It was a fun museum to explore.

Penelope (or Penny) slept a lot on our road trip, or she cried. But for the most part, she was good for her big adventure at 6 weeks old. She was blowing bubbles in this pic and I couldn't resist not snapping a photo of her.

When we got to Palmyra Thursday evening, we were able to make it to the dress rehearsal for the Hill Cummorah Pageant. We saw some of the performers before hand and took had them pose for a picture with us.

The Van den Akker family and me at the Joseph Smith home. Many amazing things happened in this home!

Me at the Frame Home. This home was built for the parents as a step up after the first home.

The Alvin Tree--This tree was planted by Alvin Smith--and is still alive. It is over 180 years old. It is a black locust--apparently they don't live that long.

My cousin Amanda and me outside of the Sacred Grove.

Just one of many of my pictures of the Sacred Grove. I love this place!

Me at the Palmyra Temple. This building was so beautiful with the stained glass windows that represented the Sacred Grove. I remember this temple from the live broadcast dedication when I was young. I also have this obsession with taking pictures with signs--call me crazy!

This is the site in Palmyra of the first publication of the Book of Mormon. We didn't take the tour because it was a long one and the kids were tired. But, it was neat to think it happened on this street in Palmyra.

I will continue with part two of this later! It takes a long time to download pictures! But--I want to share them here!

Into the Unknown...

So--I've been pondering a lot lately about things. And I know this entry may sound depressing--I don't mean it to. I am totally ok and happy with my life right now. But--I feel lost.

Those of you who know me well have known my dreams and aspirations. I am a builder--I always have been striving to build others and try to help people make the most of themselves. It used to be my dream to teach college someday and maybe work in the department of career advising. Or do some curriculum development. Or teach education classes. Part of the craziness of me becoming who I have--Miss Masters National Board teacher--is because I'm trying to build a good resume to become what I want someday--it's been a dream of mine.

But--I think I have taken a step away from that direction for the moment. It was accidental. But it has happened. I no longer know what I want out of life. I do--but I don't. It's this weird state of mind I've been in for the past couple of months. It all started when I said yes to the Chinese program.

My school has gone Dual Immersion in Chinese this school year. My principal asked me to take on the role of English Immersion teacher. I accepted...not realizing what this would do to my plans in life. It hasn't been a bad thing by any means--it is going to make my resume look amazing I believe. But--it will delay my future plans. I had plans within the next year of joining up with the DOD to also continue building up my resume by teaching abroad (an by abroad--I thought Hawaii, Fiji, Tahiti, someplace exotic!). But--I have come to realize that this program I have agreed to participate in is not something I want to just put a year into. It is a lot of WORK. To turn around and walk away after a year of it is not me. I am a person who when I commit to this kind of a task--I commit.

So--in the meantime, I am looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world (just like Michael W. Smith sings it...). I don't really know where I belong right now. I feel a little lost and confused about life. But...amazingly--I feel okay with it for the time being. I think God is aware of me and what I am doing--and I feel that I was not put in this position by accident. Part of me wonders why though. It seems when I make decisions, other things happen.

For now, I will keep looking for my place. I think for now--I am in it. And someday I will make those dreams of mine--from motherhood to my teaching career goals. But--I have come to realize it is all about timing.

I wanted to also remind all my mother friends out there--you are so lucky to have the privilege of raising children in this earth life. I am jealous--but yet supportive of you. Cherish what you have...and love these children. They are special spirits of our Heavenly Father--I see them everyday and am grateful for the chance I have to influence them in the smallest way. But you--you can do amazing things for them. You are their mother--and nothing compares to that.

For now for me--here's to a new beginning--this Chinese Adventure. It has already opened my eyes to the amazingness of God's children. It has made me see how precious they are and how much they are capable of. I feel blessed to have this opportunity to play the role I've been assigned right now--even if it is off the beaten path. It may be as Robert Frost wrote...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.