Sacrifice and Balance

October 27, 2014

I know--another post in a matter of days. Can that really be? And it isn't even on anything that is unexpectedly undertaking...

But--I had a thought running through my mind today. It was a thought about priorities and what we invest in. Throughout life, we are faced with decisions. Deciding if I will hit snooze and sleep in more, deciding if I will get up and go for a run because it is good for my body, deciding if I will eat that pizza smothered in cheese, deciding if someone is worth investing time into.

And why do we make these decisions? They are based on our priorities in life. A lot of times, I find we are willing to sacrifice big things that are important to taking care of ourselves to fulfill a moment of something we think we need right now.

I am guilty of this. Oftentimes my priorities go to an extreme. I'll choose to study something more--and end up devoting all my time and energies into it. Like school for example. I started this endorsement I have been working on in hopes to further me along in my career. But, looking back--a big portion of this process involved letting go of part of my life. My life became unbalanced and I began to put everything into it--it was even to the extreme that I would say--it's okay to eat out today or skip the gym. I have to get through this class.

Looking back on how I used to think to now--that was never ok. I should have never been willing to sacrifice my health and wellness for something like that. Both aspects are equally important, and really, I should have learned to balance better.

So--reflecting back on my life and to where I am now. Balance is essential to happiness. Things need to balance on what our priorities are. For everyone these are different. But--of equal importance. I think the key thing I am thinking right now though is that we should never sacrifice our health for things that can drain us. I am grateful I have learned this lesson this year and I hope I can do my best to not forget to take care of me as I go through my journey.

Really, life is about the moments we spend here making memories with others. Serving and being there for our family and friends. When we die and meet God someday, it won't be about how much money I made or how much weight I gained or lost or how healthy I ate--but it will be about what I did with this life that was given to me. Did I take care of myself enough that I could be there to help lift up my brothers and sisters here.

It may be mindless rambles for late at night, but this was on my mind tonight. I need to make sure I take care of me so I can help others. Helping others is what it is all about.

Blessings Come in Disguise

October 24, 2014

It is 12:30 in the morning--and my mind is still active and awake. I have had this problem every day this week--and I should be tired. My stress levels are high from school, work, and a few other things I have my hands in. But--my heart is full. I have been struggling for a little bit with wondering if God is aware of me and what is going on in my heart right now and if He really has a plan for me. And this week--I had many reasons to melt down--some did come. But--being the reflective Amy I have become, I am humbled by the tender mercies He has blessed me with this week. I have felt lost and directionless at points the past few months--not sure I'm doing the right things with my life. I know I wrote on my Facebook earlier this week about lessons I have learned during the week, but here in a little more depth--is some blessings I have received.

Blessing #1

A night of multi-tasking and proof reading

I have been working on a reading endorsement for the past 2 years. I had this brilliant idea back then (that younger, ambitious Amy) that a reading endorsement would look great on my resume. So--I jumped in. I am finally on my last class! Hallelujah! But--it has been one of the hardest classes because a lot of the assignments involve working with your own class. I don't have my own class, which makes it hard. So, I've had to work extra hard to complete my assignments--borrowing friend's children, teacher's classrooms, and brainstorming creative ways to accomplish them. It has sucked a lot of analytical juices out of my brain (if I seem more analytical right now--this is why. I can't seem to bring my brain down). But--this endorsement program has brought some amazing blessings to my life. I understand reading development better. I wrote a paper a few classes ago that is getting published in The Utah English Journal. It will be coming out later. I have been reviewing the final edits this week. Publishing scholarly research was something on my list of things to do in life. Bucket list check!

Blessing #2

My National Board Coalition friends at Hill Day

Many of you know I have a passion for teacher development and helping teachers improve their practice because I feel it is a way to influence more children  by producing strong teachers who can help students, in turn influencing more children. Empowering teachers to lead and do this has been a goal of mine in life. I recently was accepted into a program with the Center for Teacher Quality, National Boards, and NEA to do a program called the Teacher Leader Initiative. This involves me doing a capstone project (more work, right?) during the next year of my life. Tonight though, the Utah National Board Coalition had a stakeholders meeting where we invited stakeholders to come and discuss how we can promote National Boards in our state. My job was to invite legislators. I invited Senator Aaron Osmond and he came and we had a great discussion with him about the value of this program and after tonight--I may have a direction for my capstone project that will help impact teachers in our state. We shall see what comes, but this was a blessing in disguise because I haven't been able to pinpoint what I wanted to do, but doors opened tonight.

Blessing #3

A progress photo...I survived a good week of workouts

dub nutrition has become a major part of my life in the past year. When I was struggling with my weight gains earlier this year--I went from a size 14 to a size 8 in about 6 months. But--I have been in a steady maintenance period. I weigh the same that I have weighed since July and my measurements haven't really changed a lot (which I am grateful for the maintenance). I was feeling frustrated though because I felt like I was failing here. I had a great opportunity to work out with a good friend of mine, Elise Gerst this week and also receive a massage from her.  During my massage, we were able to talk about my frustrations, and she reminded me of all the success I have seen. I am stronger, I can lift more and my endurance is so much more than it has ever been. My consistency in taking care of my body has helped me in so many ways. I know that without this piece and having exercise in my life--I would have had major break downs this week. Exercise has become my out. And the amazing thing Elise and I discussed about my dub journey is that not only has this happened to me, but I am becoming this--this new chapter of my healthy lifestyle journey is just starting. I have now narrowed some goals for me of what I want to do next to challenge myself with my health and fitness. And I am excited to work towards those. I have new opportunities I could never have imagined.

Friends--God does hear prayers. I was asking this week for some direction--guidance to things I needed help with in life. And right now--I feel like it has been answered for me. All those angels in my life who helped me see it this week--thank you for being in tune to help me find it and renew my hope. I am one lucky girl! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel--and I know right now is hard as I finish up my class, but I am excited about the opportunities that have been trusted to me this week.

Sometimes I need to be humbled so I can see the hand of God in my life more. So grateful He knows the right ways to do that. And grateful that I can reflect and be thankful.